Welcome to my blog!
Just as a warning, some entries may contain triggering or upsetting content, like abuse, neglect, dissociation, and paranoia. I will never talk about extreme topics. Entries at the top are the most recent, and as you scroll, become older. Thank you!
Feburary 18th, 2024. 11:11 AM 
After that extremely depressing and miserable entry, I have decided to update all my anxious fans about what has happened since then... I GOT MARRIED! I realized that I need to calm the feck down and that being a lesbian is beatiful and freeing and I have never felt so free with ma sexuality... and yes I really did get married. I got married to a beautiful otherwordly-being named Murr (yes, from Impracticle Jokers) and we are living in peace. I lied we are not married but it is close enough. More updates on my life, though, are that I will turn 18 this year and it is so frightening to me... I also have finally realized that I am being abused and that it is wrong and that I DON'T FREAKING DESERVE THIS! So I am done playing Mr. Nice Guy. Work has been paying me scraps and I'm considering a second job, and as I write this I am blasting
ALKALOID's Trip Album My Goat in my headphones connected to my radio (photo below) and it is so awesome... I love music and ALKALOID and life and living even if it can be unbearable sometimes. I love my friends and I believe that I will escape this abuse and fear and I will prosper and show the world my love...
December 17th, 2023. 5:57 PM 
Very sad entry I fear. Cw for self harm but I relapsed after about a year all because I was freaking out over my sexuality. Yah. Very very dumb reason... but I'll be fine eventually. I think I'm a lesbian and this internalized lesbophobia shit is so serious. I already struggle with self-esteem issues, but lately I've been getting better at viewing myself as a valuable member of society! But right now... Dudes... ouh. IT'S FINE I'll be fine... I'm just going to try and code and write and cope. Maybe journal a little bit... anything to distract myself from these suicidal and horrific thoughts... ANYWAY! This month has been flying by, which freaks me out. I've bought my friends some Christmas presents, and I bought myself the
ALKALOID CD!!!!!! AND I AM SO FACKING EXCITED FOR IT!!!!!! I'm trying not to feel guilty about spending money, but it can be really hard... AND ALSO I GOT A NEW KITTEN YESTERDAY! His name is Murphy and he is so cute. But also very very naughty. He's soooo gay
November 30th, 2023. 8:52 PM 
LONG TIME NO BLOG!!! I haven't updated this site in So long and that's simply because... I forgot to :P but a lot has happened! Today I ate at my school's restuarant with my friends and the rice was SO ASS but the soup and cake were good :D I randomly feel like coding again and I'm getting my schoolwork together and
I AM AWESOME!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna try and do more creative and fun things because lately, I've just been so lazy and depressed, so I haven't been doing anything creative... I also have a job at Bath & Body Works and it's kind of draining BUT IT'S CHILL because I get a lot of money... I just got off call with my friend so I'M GOING TO EEP!!!!!! Zzz
July 11th, 2023. 1:28 AM 
Today was tough for me :( I felt foggy and dissociated all day. I made 2 sandwiches but couldn't eat the last slice, and then I went to my friend's 17th birthday party and we put on unicorn party hats and MLP stickers and it was pretty fun. We sang a song, then a birthday song, then
May God Bless You, and then prayed. The food were noodles, pizza, and cake, and I had like 3 drinks of water and Coca Cola. Me and my friend ubered home and I gave my bag of marshmellows to my neighbors. I feel so dissociated and foggy and memories keep popping up and disappearing again and I feel so confused and empty and full of clouds at the same time... I'm listening to
anything by Adrianne Lenker and it's just making me dissociate more :( I'm going to bed after this entry, so goodnight
